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This year's organisers:

The Springfield Health and Safety Committee

EVENTS

Rocking horse rodeo

Tug of peace

Political circus

"Non-specific gender" beauty contest

Virtual firework display

Vegetarian agricultural show

Soft drinks pavilion

Grand pumpkin roast

Talentless show (non discriminatory)

And all the fun of the fair!*

*persons under 16 or over 55 not admitted. Limit of one ride per person. Crash helmets, face protection and full body armour to be worn on rides at all times. Singing dancing and boisterous behaviour forbidden. Fair closes at 9.00pm, last popcorn served at 8.20pm. Persons found to be in breach of any of these regulations will face arrest imprisonment substantial fines and suspension of driving licenses.

Enjoy!

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